Monday, July 14, 2008

Thoughts on creativity....

Tonight I went to Barnes & Noble... it will most likely be my hang out for the next 12 weeks as I study for an exam I'm taking at work. It's my top choice anyway - we'll see if it ends up being where I study the most though because I found it rather noisy at times tonight.

When I entered the store tonight, I first went to find what they offered as far as resources for writers. I found this book that intrigued me. It is called, "One Year to a Writing Life" by Susan Tiberghien. I picked it up and read a portion. In it she gave suggestions as to the 'getting started' process of writing and then little practice assignments. 

As I read, there was a part that jumped out at me. She wrote, "a writing life is a creative life". This meant something to me because when we were on vacation last week, there was one night where we sat as a family and watched a movie. At the end of the movie I heard the Lord say, "You are creative. Because you are created in my image, my creativity is in you. Because of my creativity, you are creative." At first, my mind wanted to argue, "No, Lord, I'm not creative. I can't write eloquently" but then I had to stop because I realized the enemy was trying to discount a word the Lord had just spoken to my heart. Looking this now I see how like Moses I sounded. Moses didn't think he was capable so he argued with the Lord.... God wanted Moses to lead His people out of bondage... to set the captives free.... Hmm...

The first assignment that was then given in this book was to journal for 10 minutes so I wrote about what the Lord had spoken to my heart that night.
Creativity - God is creative - no two things are the same. Have you ever noticed that? No two snowflakes, no two people, no two animals, not even two trees... nothing is exactly the same as the other. Oh, they may be the same species but they aren't really the same. Even houses, though the builder may use the same plan to build a house, in the end it isn't exactly the same as the first house because the people that end up living there fill it with their own style.
When I think about God's creativity I am reminded that nothing is the same. So if His creativity is in me, it means that my experiences are different then someone else's. Yes, I've realized that before but it was like a new thought tonight... I was enlightened. 
You see I have struggled with the questions I wrote about last night. Who am I to write? What do I have to share that a 1,000 other people haven't already written about? Why do I think that I have anything different to say? What I realized tonight is that my story is unique. It's not the same as what someone else has gone through and yet, there maybe similarities. Such as my friend Tammy that I met at She Speaks... her son has cancer. I have a son who had cancer but the types are different. What do we have in common? Cancer & our faith in God... The Lord brought us together that day at the conference and we became instant friends. 
My desire has always been to maybe one day write a book on grieving the loss of a child based on the experiences I walked through when we lost our youngest son, Gerad 10 years ago. Praise the Lord that He continues to give confirmation! Because of my struggles with doubting this desire and whether or not it's a 'calling' on my life, He knows that I need confirmations - sometimes multiple confirmations. So tonight, was another step, another confirmation.
This is my story... these are my thoughts... 

The next part of the assignment was to write about something visual. She encouraged closing your eyes and writing about a picture that comes to mind or something that you see. Her example was of a woman who looked out a window and saw a hawk in a tree and then wrote about what she saw. When I closed my eyes I saw a stained glass window & then was reminded of a watercolor painting. (There's a story there)... anyway, this is what I see:
A stained glass window: broken pieces of colored glass. The pieces are taken and heated together to create a picture. When the sun's light shines through, it becomes even more beautiful. 
My life, in many ways, is like a stained glass window. There have been many times I have knelt before the Lord, broken and at times, feeling shattered because of all that life has thrown at me. As time has gone on, I've seen how He has taken those broken pieces of my life and shaped them together to form ME. My heart cry is that when the Son-light shines through me, the world will see a beautiful reflection of Him. 
Similarly a watercolor painting: what I remember of water colors is that you dip your brush in the paint, then in a little water and apply that to the canvas. Sometimes if you get too much water mixed in, the colors tend to run together. After Gerad's death a woman spoke a word to me regarding how my life was like a watercolor painting. Even though at that time it seemed that all the colors were running together due to the storm in my life, one day, the canvas would reflect the beautiful picture that God had in mind from the very beginning. I couldn't understand it at the time because of that storm (and many other since then) but now... Lord are you bringing the colors together to form me into the picture that you had intended from the beginning? Hmmm....

These are my thoughts...

1 comment:

"B" His Girl said...

Hi Bonnelle,

Read you post on Renee's blog. I think it is wonderful that you are embracing what God has given you! How boring would it be if we were all alike! I also liked how you organized your thoughts. I am not a writer in the traditional mode but God wanted me to start blogging about Him. I am trying to use what He has given me to do that. I am creative too in my own way. It is kind of goofy but that's me. : ) Focus on what He is leading you to do and not the RESULTS. He keeps reminding me is that we cannot really see the results anyway. Sometimes we think we can. Enjoy your walk with Him. God wants to make beautiful things with your colored glass. May He pour His blessing on you today!