"I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love; with unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.
These words brought back to me a night some time ago, when I was praying through some issues with a friend of mine. She asked me what I was hearing God say to me in that moment. I heard God say, "I love you with a never-ending, never-failing, everlasting love." His promise is as true today as it was then.
What was especially cool to me and so like God was, I had read this verse very early this morning and then went about my day... I dropped Brittney off at a friend's apartment (she having a fun day at World's of Fun!) then I went to Weight Watchers (and found out I had reached my 10% goal!) and as I was leaving the parking lot, the verse for the day on the radio was... Jeremiah 31:3. I listened as the announcer read the verse and I smiled as I was hearing God's voice speak to me again. It was SO cool! Thank you Lord for your affirmation and the confirmation of your love! It just blessed me so much - and still is.
After leaving WW's I went to go take a placement test at our local community college in preparation for an English class I would like to take. The class is part of a stirring from She Speaks - to learn how to be a better writer. I scored really well on the exams and was... amazed! It's been 20 years since I was in school last and I was a little concerned as to what my score would be. I know the Lord was with me because I was getting sleepy there towards the end! :) After talking with an advisor I then left to go study for this test I'm taking at work....
Work... this is a challenge for me. I love the people I work with but I've been in the same department for almost 8 years. I'm at the same pay grade I was when I first started and that has become rather frustrating to me. I feel like I've given so much over the last 8 years that it would be nice to have the pay grade increase to go along with it. Well, in my department, the only way to go up a grade level now will be based on whether or not I pass this test. It's a very difficult and long, drawn out process that requires a lot of time from the person that study's for it. Yes, my family is somewhat understanding but at the same time... do I want to continue dedicating so much of my life and time to my employer? Not really... thus comes my struggle.
If I study and pass, I get a pay grade increase and will have more opportunities to move up within the company (so they say). However, if I stay in my department, I will basically continue doing all that I've been doing (no forward movement). Oh sure, I'm a "Subject Matter Expert" (that's what they call us if we know a lot about the job) but... I'm bored with my job. I was told by my manager this week that a new position will be posting soon to become a part of the Quality Evaluation team - basically I would review people's work and ding them if they do something wrong & could possibly be a part of training if selected. Would be something a little different but at the same time... not really exciting sounding.
The other potential position that I've been talked to about is for an Executive Assistant. This sounds like fun. I've thought about it for a long time (years) but haven't really pursued it because I didn't feel I had the experience or qualifications for it. Plus, I didn't have an "in" - someone that I knew who would put in a good word for me. Well, now I do. A friend of mine that used to work in our department is an assistant and she's the one who approached me about it. It would be fun to work with her again... and it would be something totally new. This position isn't posted yet and may take some time since our HR department tends to take awhile putting job postings up.
This is where my prayer comes in... Lord, I need Your direction and wisdom. I need wisdom to retain this stuff I'm studying in order to do well on the final exam. I need Your direction and wisdom to decide on the right position... Do I stay and continue with the friendships that I have? or Do I go to the QE position? or is the Executive Assistant position where You want me? I need to hear Your voice behind me saying, "This is the way, walk in it" like You promised me at She Speaks. The nice thing about the Executive Assistant position is that I wouldn't need to continue with the studying for this hard exam and I could go on to take the English class in the fall. If I continue to study for the exam, I have to wait until December to take the English class (I was disappointed when I realized that). Most importantly though, I just want to be in the center of Your will for my life. I want to choose the path that will take me to where You want me to be. I don't want to step out of Your will and I don't want to go into anything if You aren't there with me. Show me where to go and what to do. Lead me and guide me according to Your purposes in my life.
Thank You for loving me so much. Thank You that You love me with an everlasting, never-ending love and that with unfailing love You have drawn me to You and to Your side. Rebuild me according to Your plans for my life and help me to follow You completely.