I went to shadow with the potential new team this afternoon and once I was finished I went to the truck and called my husband. I just want to be where God wants me to be and right now... I'm not really sure where that is. I'm not sure if this opportunity is from God or if it's a distraction. Will it be a blessing or a catastrophe?
A couple of things have been brought across my path... blogs on waiting and then an article this morning on clutter and chaos... so I'm pondering... on the basics once again.
In the midst of clutter there is chaos. When things are out of order, when we have too much clutter going on in our houses... there is chaos. It's the same in our hearts. When there are too many activities and too much "stuff"... we feel overwhelmed and like things are in turmoil.... chaos. The article discussed "spring cleaning" tips. From a spiritual standpoint though the only way to find peace in the midst of chaos is to be still... to take time to focus on what's really important and He will help You sort out what needs to go.... What things have I allowed to build up that really aren't necessary? What things am I holding on to... things I think are important... which really aren't?
To borrow the prayer posted by Wendy Blight on her blog... I've changed the we/our's to I/my:
"Heavenly Father, I kneel before Your throne in heaven knowing You are the God of Heaven's Armies, the Great I AM, the Almighty God. I do believe in You. I love You, Lord. But in my place of wait, in my place of sorrow and confusion, I need help with my unbelief. Help me to surrender my questions to You, to really and truly leave them with You. Help me to trust in You with all of my heart, to lean not on my own understanding (or the understanding of others like friends, family, bosses) but in all my ways, help me acknowledge You and believe You when You promise that You will direct my path. Direct my path today, Lord. In clear and obvious ways, reveal that You are at work in the midst of everything. Thank You that You care deeply about every detail of my life. Thank You that You are sovereign over every circumstance. Thank You that You are never surprised. Thank You that You are ABLE. I will wait on Your wisdom, direction and a might work of Your Hand." It just seemed so fitting.
My own prayer is:
"Dear Father, in the midst of all the chaos raging around me, help me to stop and re-focus my eyes on You. Help me to remember to give thanks to You for you ARE good. Thank You that Your love is faithful and endures forever. Thank You that Your word promises over and over to me that when I am distressed I can pray to You and You will answer me and set me free. Thank You that You are always for me so I really don't have anything to be afraid of. Thank You that You will help me in every situation, every circumstance that comes my way. I know that not everything is for me to understand and that most of the time... I just have to trust You. To lean on and rely on You and not my own understanding. Thank You for reminding me that it is always better to take refuge in You rather than to trust in people to protect me. With all my heart I want Your blessing... please close the doors that You don't want me to go through... close them so no man can open them and open the doors You want me to go through... I will wait for Your wisdom, Your direction... Show me Your ways... Your path.... I will trust in You as I wait for You..."