Wednesday, March 11, 2009

whispers in my ear...

So because of the busy-ness of my days... God speaks to me at the funniest times. For example... a little background for you... I get these "blemishes" (as my Mother used to call them) on my chin area. The problem is they aren't like most people's... they get this hard center in them. The other night I was examining one (I get them when I'm really stressed) and trying to get the hard part out (because it gets really sore if I don't) God whispered in my ear... "Your heart is like that center. Inside there is a part that is hard. In order to get it out... there will be pain and soreness. You will bleed and it will hurt but if you don't get it out, it will just return. It will continue to come back and will continue to fester until it's dealt with. I want to deal with this so you can heal. If you don't let me get it out... it will come back again." Tonight as I was in a small group He spoke to me again about the hardness in my heart... He showed me the hardness is anger that I've held in for a long time... Yesterday I looked at my blemish and saw... in the center.... is a little tiny white spot... that will once again fester and get sore.

When He showed me the condition of my heart in such detail... I was deeply saddened... I don't want my heart to be hard. I want to be soft and pliable to His leading. I don't want anger to reside there... festering under the surface. I want Him to deal with my heart... I know it will hurt... it has been hurting.... I know there's more there that He wants to get out... so He can get to the root of the matter. I am laying myself before Him so He can get the hardness of my heart out so healing can come... deep within.

I ask simply for your prayers... that I will be open to the work He's doing and that in that work... freedom will come. 

1 comment:

Cheri' said...

What an amazing God we serve!

Giving you such a precise picture of what is going on inside your heart greatly reveals how much He cares about YOU!

I have been and will continue to pray for you, my friend!

I love you Bonnelle!