Sunday, March 15, 2009


So in the dark times of my life God has always given me a scripture or a song or CD to carry me through. Yesterday I was at my Bible Study with some new friends and they prayed over me and for me... it was amazing. One woman asked me if I had scriptures that I could tape up to help me through this season... I don't really have any yet. I guess because I'm still wondering what God is doing in this whole deal. I'm filled with questions and answers aren't really coming yet.

After Bible Study my sisters took me for several hours of pampering... the three of us went to get manicures & pedicures done.... it was a really nice surprise. However, the guy had to tell me several times to relax.... evidently I'm a little stressed out?! =) Afterwards we went to lunch and then they took me home so I could take a nap.

After supper out with friends I had my husband take me to the Christian bookstore because I felt I needed to pick up a CD. When I got there, I walked in the door and this bracelet stuck out to me. It has two chains with hearts on them... it's hard to describe but the one of the hearts has the word "Love" written on it. I felt the Lord telling me to get it and that each time I wore it... it would serve as a reminder of His Love for me. It felt like a gift from Him... especially since it was the only one like it. I then went back to the music department and started looking at CD's. I picked out a few with songs that we have been singing lately in church but they didn't seem to be "the one" for this season. I then texted my friend Cheri to ask about a CD she has been listening to... that's the CD I ended up buying. The artist is Kari Jobe.

As I was listening this morning this one song just kept drawing me so I repeated it several times. Later at Church there was an altar call for healing which included people that needed healing in their emotions as well as for physical healing. I went forward and the worship team started to sing.... the very same song I had listened to over and over before Church this morning... I knew God was speaking to me through this song and that I was to begin singing it as a declaration. The song is:

You hold my every moment. You calm my raging seas. You walk with me
through fire and heal all my disease. I trust in You I trust in You

I believe You're my healer. I believe You are all I need.
I believe You're my portion. I believe You're more than enough for me.
Jesus, You're all I need.

Nothing is impossible for You. Nothing is impossible for you.
Nothing is impossible for You.

You hold my world in Your hands.

It's a song that brings me back to the truth that I know... He knows every detail of every moment of every day. He will calm the storm around me. He is walking through this fire with me and I will not be burned and He will heal my heart and my dis-ease. I can trust Him even when I don't understand what He's doing. I believe He's my healer. I believe He is all I need and that He is more than enough for me. I believe that nothing is impossible for Him.

I'm not sure what He's doing right now... maybe it's to heal me of past hurts that I'm not aware of. Maybe it's to reorder things and make things right. Maybe it's just a part of His plan and I just need to trust Him. I'm reminded of the scripture that His ways are not our ways and that His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. I don't understand and I may never understand but He does... and that needs to be enough... it's becoming enough. I'm reminded also of the scripture that says:

Isaiah 43:2
When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you.
For I am the Lord, your God.
The Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

I believe... He will be with me and I believe... He watches over me and will take care of me. I believe... He has a plan... even in all of this. So I will follow Him.... even through the valley.


Sheryl said...

i am not sure of what is going on in your life, but it is obvious that God was speaking directly to you. that is so cool. you have quoted one of my favorite songs and one of my favorite scriptures!!

Cheri' said...

I was listening to that song just this morning, and began to pray for you! Wow! God really loves you Bonnelle! He will bring you through!

I love you and am praying for you!

Kate said...

I am learning so much as I "watch" you go through this season. I love seeing how God shows up for us, especially when we are aware enough to realize it. I'm so glad that you are feeling more ease (or at least closer to being there) during such an unsettled time. Hang in there, my friend!