In thinking about silence tonight I was thinking on how to some... the silence can be a little frightening. They hear strange noises and are filled with fear. To some... the silence is peaceful and calming from all the noise that surrounds. I like times by myself because work is filled with stress and questions and at home... I see so much to do or I have people talking to me. I like the quiet though because in those moments... I hear Jesus whisper in my ear and when I don't... I feel His presence and it comforts me.
Sometimes, though, in the silence His voice speaks deeply to my heart and I am face to face with my sin... like last night. I had shared information that wasn't really necessary to share and I was convicted by the sin of gossip. As I was walking into class the Lord started speaking to my heart. I repented of sharing things I shouldn't share and thought, "bad habits are hard to break"... and this scripture began to roll through my head:
"I want to do what is right but I can't. I want to do what is good, but I don't. I don't want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway..."
This was always a brain-twister for me because I couldn't grasp it but last night... I did and it was like the two-edge sword His word is... However, this is the next part:
"I have discovered this principle of life - that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably, do what is wrong. I love God's law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God's law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin. So now... there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Sprit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death." (Romans 7:18-8:2)
...and in the silence I realized... I'm just an over-weight woman who gossips and worries when I should trust but Thank God! Jesus Christ is my answer and He can save me from this sin and death! ... oh to trust Him more!
I am a sinner saved by His grace and I am Chosen and loved by Him!