Sunday, November 9, 2008

#2 in 50 Ways to take care of yourself...

#2 - Cry when you're sad...

I love going to church on Sunday mornings... there's just something about taking time to pause and worship that settles my heart and heals my spirit. I have a paper I need to finish for Tuesday night and I've barely started. I'm planning on working on it today and finishing it up tomorrow night after work. I had gotten up early this morning and had my breakfast and read my Bible and then was working on this thought I had for my paper. When it was time to leave for church the thought was there to continue working on my paper instead but I said, "No, I need to take time out to go to church because that's more important. If I take time out for God and worship then I know He will help me write this paper the way it should be written." 

During the service our Pastor went into this story about a 4 year old little boy who's appendix had ruptured and he was in a coma for several days. Our Pastor couldn't remember if the little boy had died and they brought him back but when he woke up he was talking about Heaven. At first, the little boy's story wasn't believed and the things he said were brushed aside. Later though... when the boy was 8 he was walking through his living room and was talking about the angels and how they sing all the time in Heaven. His mom stopped him then and she began to ask him questions.... and I began to cry. The little boy told of how the angels sing all the time. How he met his sister - he had never been told he had a sister because she died before he was born - he described her and then said that the Father had adopted her and that He took care of her. And he had met 'Pop' - his Grandpa and pointed him out in pictures they had.

By now I was no longer able to wipe away the tears. All I kept hearing the Lord whisper to me was "cry when you need to" over and over. I realized that in the sharing of that story the Father was speaking to my heart and giving me a glimpse of what Gerad experiences in Heaven. It was a reassurance that the Father is taking care of Gerad but then He showed me how He's also taking care of Brittney and Josiah. He's speaking to them and teaching them things too and He's revealing His heart and His plans and purposes for their lives and... it's okay because HE is taking care of them. They will be okay. There was a healing that took place in those moments this morning. A releasing of tears... tears due to missing Gerad in that moment and his little 4 year old voice and thoughts. Tears for missing my parents. Tears too for my teenagers who are growing up and are making lives of their own. There were tears also though because in the background the worship team had begun to sing a song that includes these words:

You are the Maker of Heaven,
You've turned my world around.
You're making all things new again,
You are God alone.

Tears in knowing that God has turned my world around in the last 10 years. He has made a lot of things new in my life and daily He is continuing the work He has started. He is the Maker of Heaven and Earth and in the falling of the leaves and the coming winter season... He causes things to die so that there may be new life and new growth in the Spring... In the death... there is life... After Gerad's death we moved here to Omaha to start a new life. After my Dad's death a dream was brought to life - the dream of writing and developing that by taking classes again (which had also been a dream). I know that my Father, the Maker of Heaven and Earth is guiding my steps and I know that He is making all things new in me. Today, he helped me shed some tears that needed to be cried but at the same time, He renewed my Hope in that He has everything under control and He will take care of everything that concerns me.

I just thought it was cool how God spoke to my heart today and wanted to share.... Thanks! =)

Bonnelle 

1 comment:

Kate said...

Oh, my...I had a similary experience in church today. Not the same reason, but the tears that just needed to come.