I have trust issues. I have a hard time trusting people because of the things that happened to me as a child. I have a hard time trusting God because I have been afraid of what will happen if I do what He tells me. If I obey... it seems the enemy attacks. If I do what He tells me... it seems like something goes wrong and I find I have to trust Him more. How can I trust more when my trust level is already thin? And yet... to not obey... to not listen... that has even harsher consequences. So instead... I tend to do nothing. Cowering in my fear and questioning myself. I go 'round and 'round with the questions! Maybe I didn't hear right... maybe I did something wrong.... was I wrong? was I selfish? did I just THINK I heard God tell me that? why did I fail? why did it hurt so bad if I did what I thought God wanted me to do?
I don't want to continue being afraid!! I don't want to continue having trust issues! I WANT to trust Him more! I want to SEE His blessing and His hand of protection. I want to learn to trust Him more. "Oh for grace... to trust Him more."
The study this morning took me to Isaiah 51 and these verses spoke to me:
vs 7 & 8: "Listen to me, you who know right from wrong, you who cherish my law in your hearts. Do not be afraid of people's scorn, nor fear their insults. For the moth will devour them as it devours clothing. The worm will eat at them as it eats wool. But my righteousness will last forever. My salvation will continue from generation to generation.
vs 12-16: I, yes I, am the one who comforts you. So why are you afraid of mere humans, who wither like the grass and disappear? Yet you have forgotten the LORD, your Creator, the one who stretched out the sky like a canopy and laid the foundations of the earth. Will you remain in constant dread of human oppressors? Will you continue to fear the anger of your enemies? Where is their fury and anger now? It is gone!! Soon all you captives will be released!! Imprisonment, starvation, and death will NOT be your fate! For I am the LORD your God, who stirs up the sea, causing its waves to roar. My name is the LORD of Heaven's Armies. And I have put my words in your mouth and hidden you safely in my hand. I stretched out the sky like a canopy and laid the foundations of the earth. I am the one who says to [you, Bonnelle] 'You are my [daughter]'!!
I believe Christ is setting me FREE from my captivity!! I believe He is the LORD of Heaven's Armies! I believe He stretched out the sky like a canopy and laid the foundations of the earth! I believe I have hid His word in my heart! I believe!! I will no longer remain in constant fear and dread of human oppressors! I will no longer continue to fear the anger of the enemy! I believe the LORD has put His words in my mouth and I am hidden safely in His hand! I am His daughter and He WILL protect me!
I will TRUST in the LORD my God, the Creator of the Universe & the LORD of Heaven's Armies!