Friday, April 24, 2009

this week in review...

"Don't be afraid for I AM with you. I AM with when things are going well and I AM with you when things appear to not be going well. In any and every situation you encounter... remember... Don't be afraid for I AM with you."

The Father has been whispering these words to me on many occasions recently but it seems especially so this week. When my heart is pounding and anxious thoughts are racing through my head I hear, "Don't be afraid for I AM with you". When things are going well and I'm a little suspicious... I hear, "Don't be afraid for I AM with you". When I'm afraid I may have messed up in some way I hear, "Don't be afraid for I AM with you and I will take care of everything". It has amazed me how each time... a peace flooded my heart. 

This week has been rather interesting to say the very least. In the midst of a HUGE amount of money passing before my eyes a man walks down my row and congratulates me. Now, this man isn't just any man. This man is former military and walks with much authority. I have always been a little afraid of him because he's one of the big-wigs. "Why is he congratulating me?", I wonder. I am most confused and dumbfounded but of course I just say, "Thank you". Someone wants to take my picture with him? WHY? What's going on? These questions are racing through my mind but I simply say, "Oh, okay" and stand up to have my picture taken. I make a little joke only to notice my entire department has now stood up and is looking at me... mind you this is not just a few people but a LOT of people are all looking at me!! Embarrassment flushes my face and I quickly take my seat. "What's this for?" Someone asks me but I still have no idea what's going on! When my manager tells me I've won I am in shock!! I was nominated by my peers as someone who is outstanding in service and leadership and I won! Now, this is amazing because no one from our department has won this award and what this means for our department, our team is HUGE! At first (not to sound ungrateful or anything) I was horrified because I had wanted my assistant manager to win for all the turmoil she has carried us through the last several months! Surely someone had made a mistake! Since the week has progressed I realize.... what a significant honor this is.... and I feel like Joseph must have felt when Potiphar asked him to be the 2nd in command. All this recognition has been hard for me to handle because for nine years I have just gone about my job... doing my job.... for my bosses and for the Lord. To suddenly be recognized is almost more then I can comprehend. I'm still a little overwhelmed. 

I don't share all of this to proclaim my greatness or anything like that I just share this because I saw this week the evidence of the favor of the Lord on my life and... there's a scripture that talks about having favor with God and man... and I feel like I'm walking in that and I am amazed at the goodness of God. 

Later in the week there was a moment of fear when I saw my name in the middle of a long email chain addressed to several of the upper level management team. I really wish I would stop receiving all this attention because I am only human and I do make mistakes! (Lord knows I do!!) Fear floods my heart and mind and suddenly I hear the Father whisper in my ear again, "Don't be afraid for I AM with you and will take care of you no matter what the circumstances." I realized in that moment that whether I receive the highest honors or whether I loose my job for some mistake... the Lord IS with me and will ALWAYS fight for me and watch out for me. If lies are spoken about me... "No weapon formed against me will prosper". If I receive recognition, it's for the Glory of the Lord. Either way... He IS with me! 

Today I saw the verse played out that says, "Vengence is mine says the Lord". We were informed that the person responsible for causing so much chaos in our department was let go. While I'm sorry she lost her job, there is also a part of me that knows, the Lord judged the unrighteous behavior and decisions this person had been making over the course of the last several months. I thought about how I would feel if I lost my job and I realized that even in those circumstances, the Lord is with me and He is my source and most importantly I have the assurance that He IS with me. 

Here I am this evening amazed at the Hand of God... amazed at His goodness... amazed at how HE turns things around for our good and His Glory... amazed and comforted by the fact that the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth, the Lord God Almighty IS with me. He walks with me and talks with me and shares each and every moment of my days. I am amazed at His love for me. I am amazed that He has time for little me and I'm amazed that He really does care about every little detail of my life. I am amazed that He loves me and will ALWAYS be with me.

I pray that you will see His goodness in such amazing and tangible ways. I pray that if you are going through a hard time that you will just... hold onto His Hand for He loves and cares for you SO much. I know that He will take care of you and He will shield you in the midst of the storm you are facing. When things look the darkest... hold on because "Here comes the Son" and it will be all right. 

It's been a good week! FINALLY!!! Thank you Jesus for ALL you have done for me. Thank you for your hand that's upon me and may this award only bring Glory to YOUR name!! I lay it at YOUR feet because all the glory and honor and recognition goes to you. 


Cheri' said...

Oh Bonnelle,
I am so happy and pleased for you! Isn't Jesus just so wonderful!! His favor is resting on your life and He's allowing you to see it and experience it!

I'm sure you've done this already, but if you look back at your previous posts about the silence and the waiting, it's awesome to see you have come through all of it and arrived at this precious moment in time!

You do deserve this award and I know it's very timely for your life! Congratulations! You have honored God through this trial and He is rewarding you!

Sheryl said...

What fabulous news! It's great to see you rewarded for your both your work and your character.

God will take up for us - I sure have learned that myself. Thanks for sharing your joy with us and still pointing us back to Jesus.