Saturday, January 24, 2009

taking time...

Yes, it's true... I've been rather quiet lately. For the last two weeks I have really been seeking God on what He would have me do about my job as well as with my life. I would like to share a little bit even though I know there is so much more that is yet to be discovered.

When I was in Texas, God placed in my hands a book that He is using to change my life and my perspective on things. My nephew is a Pastor at a Church in Oklahoma and my oldest sister (his mother) is a Sunday school teacher in the same church. At the time, they were studying a book in the class and he pushed it over to me and said "You really should read this book." Over the last month or so I have been reading this book rather slowly and really pondering on what God was wanting to say to me. The book is called (because I know you are wanting to know...) "In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day" by Mark Batterson. Powerful book!

I'm not sure how to put everything I want to share into words so I'll try to sum up what has happened in the last two weeks.... In the book he talks about how there were ten days between the ascension of Jesus and the day of Pentecost. He posed a question that really struck me. Basically it was what if, when we are faced situations in our lives, we took ten days to really seek God on what He wanted us to do... what would happen? I was challenged by that and began really seeking God over the course of the next ten days. Last Sunday I went forward for prayer and just asked for wisdom and clarity to hear God's voice. There were two people praying for me that I had never met before. One prayed that God would open my ears to hear His voice, that He would open my heart to receive His words and that He would give me the courage and strength to do whatever He asked. Then the other person just spoke gently to me about how precious I am to the Lord and how much He loves me. It was a powerful moment.

This book talks a lot about facing your fears and chasing after them rather than running away from them. I have come to really see how fear holds me back from so much. God wants me to face those fears head on and in the process I will be changed... and will also see that I really had nothing to be afraid of.

In regards to my job... I have been so afraid of the "what if" factors that I have stayed put in a job and company that I no longer enjoy. I have stayed because of my friends and while I love them very much I have allowed them to be an excuse to stay stuck. I have been afraid of leaving what I KNOW even though for quite some time I have wanted to leave to learn new things.... I just didn't know where I wanted to go or what I wanted to do. 

I remember when I was about to be offered a position that I really didn't want, I told my Senior Manager that I wasn't sure what I wanted to do but I knew that it wasn't that job, I told him I felt like I should wait to figure out what it really is that I wanted to do with my life and career path. Well... I believe God has shown me what that is.

Sunday I was prayed for. Monday God dropped a dream in my heart. Wednesday we were informed that lay-offs are coming at work. Thursday I saw how there is really no concern for the associates any more. Friday I was sick to my stomach because of the lay-offs that are ahead this week and knowing there is a strong possibility that I will be loosing my manager and senior manager very soon. Last night and again today as I began sharing my dream the excitement has increased. Over the course of the week I have really felt God saying that now is the time to start really pursuing the change in what I do. 

The dream... is to work part-time and go to school full-time... to be a Physical Therapist!  This is HUGE for me because I have had this desire for a really long time. I was always afraid of pursuing something in the medical realm because I wasn't a very good student in High School... especially in Algebra, Biology and Chemistry which are all important classes to do well in if you want to go into the medical field! So I've always just pushed it aside and done other things that were more SAFE. I was afraid of taking those classes at this stage in my life because I didn't want to fail again. Plus, it's been so long and now I'm not so very young anymore! However, through what God has been showing me through this book is... I'm not too old and nothing is too hard when it comes to something God wants you to do! I always said I can't do that but God has clearly been saying to me that I CAN do ALL things through HIM. The final confirmation in this was when my husband said to me last night that I should talk to one of the financial aide people at Metro (the community college) to see if there was a way I could go to school full-time - this was HUGE because it showed me he was okay with this crazy dream of mine! 

Today I completed an application to do a job shadow with a Physical Therapist which is recommended before entering the program to be sure it's a good fit. I also completed an application for an Office Associate in the radiology/oncology department at a local hospital. I did this just in case I still need to work full-time or if I do the shadow and don't feel it's where I belong. My second choice for school/career would be an ultrasound or x-ray technician. Either way... it's progress. Monday I'll call the school to schedule an appointment with one of the financial aide counselors, then I will schedule an appointment for the math placement test and then... see where God leads me from there. 

I am SO excited about the possibility of what lies ahead!! Please pray that He will continue directing me in the path He wants me to take.... that He will continue to give me the courage and strength to do what He asks and that my ears and heart would remain open to hear and receive all that He has to say to me. Until next time... Blessings to you!


Sheryl said...

Wow, you can hear your excitement through this post! So proud of you, what a brave step to take. How great that God has confirmed it also.

That is at least the third time I have come across the mention of that particular book. Do you think God is trying to tell me something?

Looking forward to seeing where all of this leads for you!

Kate said...

Oh, my goodness. That IS exciting! I love how you are stepping out from your fears, but also stepping within God's shadow...always keeping yourself close to what He wants for you. And what an exciting feeling that what He wants for you is a dream you have had.

That book sounds fantastic.

Cheri' said...

I am so excited for you Bonnelle! I love this post because you can sense your excitement and see how God is leading you each step of the way!

Can't wait to see where this journey takes you!