I woke up this morning with thoughts of a conversation I need to have and the fears that were rolling around in my head about dealing with a situation (well... a few different conversations & situations). I have been playing the "what if" game... what if they get mad.... what if they reject me... what if we're not friends any more... what if I'm backed into a corner and I can't find my way out... what if... I can feel in my spirit I need to have these conversations and yet... I've been afraid and not sure how to deal with these fears. So I got up and went for a walk since I knew I wasn't going to be going back to sleep.
As I was walking I heard God speak to my heart... "You can play the "what if" game for the rest of your life and remain in bondage or you can take this step and be obedient and begin walking in freedom." It was a pretty powerful moment... I've missed my morning walks! :)
And then... when I got home I picked up the Made to Crave book to work on the reflection questions. Immediately when I did I felt like I was supposed to re-read the chapter I read a few days ago. I have been feeling frustrated that the scale sure doesn't seem to be moving in the downward direction very fast. Last night though God helped me see the gradual progress is still progress. Anyway... When I went to the chapter to re-read it I found this title.. "I'm Not Defined by the Numbers"... and I chuckled at God. His timing is just so... perfect. It made me smile.
There was so much that spoke to my heart in this chapter... I'll refrain from sharing everything but... this part was just powerful to me:
- God's divine power has given us everything we need to experience victory in our struggles.
- We are to reflect a divine nature - a secure identity in Christ - which helps us escape the corruption of the world and avoid evil [sinful] desires.
- It is through biblical promises that we find the courage to deny unhealthy desires.
- Getting healthy is not just about having faith, goodness, and knowledge. We have to add to that foundation by choosing to be self-controlled and choosing to persevere even when the journey gets really hard.
- These qualities keep us from being ineffective and unproductive in our pursuit of healthy eating and, even more importantly, in our pursuit of growing closer to God.
- If we make the choice to be Jesus girls who offer our willingness to exercise self-control and perseverance to the glory of God, we can lose weight, get healthy, and walk in confidence that it is possible to escape the cycle of losing and gaining back again. We can be victorious. We can step on the scale and except the numbers for what they are - an indication of how much our body weighs - and not an indication of our worth.
But then... there was just a little bit more! She writes:
"My classmate's inadvertent statement was not life and it was not godly. Therefore, I didn't have to internalize it. I could leave it on the gym floor and walk away. That statement didn't belong to me. That statement wasn't my issue. I had a choice to make. I could feed that comment and let it grow into an identity crusher; or I could see it for what it was, a careless comment."
"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:5)
"We can literally say to a comment or a thought that presents itself to us, "Are you true? Are you beneficial? Are you necessary?" And if the answer is no, then we don't open the door of our heart. We make the choice to walk away from the comment and all the negative thoughts it could harvest if we let it in."
I've heard and read this scripture many times but this morning... these words just jumped at me. I have been asking God how I can stop reacting to things out of the scars of the past... how do I respond in a way that displays growth and letting go of the past? And this morning... He gave me the answers through Truth that spoke deeply to my heart.
The things I encountered in my past... the words that were spoken to my little girl heart... they weren't words of life and they weren't godly... those words weren't true then and they aren't true now. They were careless comments made from people where were insecure. Those words... those situations are not beneficial... they weren't then and they certainly aren't now! I hereby make the choice to leave them on the "gym floor" and walk away! No longer will those words and their actions hold me in bondage!
Wow... Thanks God!! :)