Decisions for the New Year...

I am currently searching out new opportunities for employment... it's a very strange thing. When you have worked at the same place for over eight years you become comfortable there. I know there are other places and other opportunities available but at the same time, it just seems strange. I am praying about this a lot because it's a big decision for me. Is it time to leave this company or just this position? Is it time to branch out and meet all new people and learn new things? 

This morning as I was reading my Bible the portion from Psalms was this:

Psalm 146:1-8:

Praise the Lord!

Let all that I am praise the Lord.

I will praise the Lord as long as I live.

I will sing praises to my God with my dying breath.

Don't put your confidence in powerful people;

there is no help for you there.

When they breathe their last, they return to the earth,

and all their plans die with them.

But joyful are those who have the God of Israel as their helper,

whose hope is in the Lord their God.

He made heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them.

He keeps every promise forever.

He gives justice to the oppressed and food to the hungry.

The Lord frees the prisoners.

The Lord opens the eyes of the blind.

The Lord lifts up those who are weighed down.

The Lord loves the godly.

It just reminded me of the Truth that I know... that God will take care me and my family. He has a place for me and He knows exactly where He wants me. I have placed my hope in Him so I can be joyful and know that He will take care of everything that concerns me. I don't understand what's going on and why but I do know that He does and really... that's all that matters! So... Praise the Lord! Let all that I am praise the Lord. I will praise Him as long as I live!

May you have a blessed New Year and may it be spent Praising the Lord with all that is within you!

Bonnelle

Fragrance...

When I came into my room tonight at the hotel, I put my stuff down and then went back by my bathroom. There I found a note the housekeeping lady had left for me. It was a piece of paper that stated her name and that she had cleaned my room today. On the top she had hand-written,"Your room smells good" with a smiley face, then at the bottom she had written, "you have a great day" with a smiley face and then a simple, "Thank you". This little gesture brought a smile to my face. Yesterday there was a similar piece of paper but it only had the housekeepers name (which was a different person today). Today, this lady left a personal greeting for me which made it very special and was really a nice touch. As I walked away pondering on this little note, with a smile on my face, I just heard these words, "It's the fragrance of the Lord". This then caused me to search to see if there was a verse that stated something similar since I felt this was the Lord speaking to me. I went on BibleGateway since my concordance didn't have anything on "fragrance" and no matter which version I selected, this verse continued to stand out to me:

2 Corinthians 2:14:

Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of his knowledge in every place.

Diffuses means: "to become widely dispersed, spread out" so this verse would say that through us He spreads out His knowledge in every place we go. 

At first, when I read the whole context of this verse I felt a little condemnation try to get me because I'm not a great witness for God. I mean, I don't publicly speak out like some or stop to witness to a waitress or anything like that. When I tried to explain this to the Lord and to question if I was really hearing His thinking on this matter (because maybe it's just my lotion & hair products after all!) He brought to my mind a few examples...

This morning while I was waiting to head off to work, I spent some time reading my Bible because I woke up with a lot of things on my mind. Right before I left for the day I prayed a prayer for some of those issues. The prayer I prayed diffused His fragrance into the room and was dispersed not only here but it went up to the Father's ears and then also in the direction I was praying. Then, another example He showed me was when I was talking on IM with someone about a HUGE account we were transferring out, she commented on how her last manager told her she was pretty much useless. I was shocked! I proceeded to tell her that wasn't true and that she was always the most helpful and knowledgeable person I knew when dealing with this particular thing. I also told her that when anyone had a question on this type of thing we always send them to her because she would have the answers! She appreciated the words of encouragement and thanked me for them... the fragrance of God was dispersed into her life. A third example the Lord showed me was yesterday when my manager called me and was in tears and felt like an idiot... by the time our conversation ended we had each other laughing. The fragrance of God was dispersed....

So I guess all of this is to say... the fragrance of His knowledge, through praying the word over a situation, or speaking truth instead of lies to someone who is doubting their worth, or bringing laughter into a broken heart... is dispersed into every place through our lives. In going back over this verse I also am reminded that He ALWAYS leads us in triumph in Christ. ALWAYS, wherever He leads us, He leads us in triumph.... 

So thank you Lord for always leading me in triumph and that Your fragrance, Your truth, Your life are dispersed and spread out into every place I go. Please bless this little housekeeping lady in a big way... in as much as she has blessed my life today. May I be a representation of Your fragrance each day and to each person I come in contact with everywhere I go... Amen.

Bonnelle

Comment...

Each day I go to Tammy's blog and I'm amazed... at her strength, at her realness & honesty... I wish at times that I could have had a way to be as vocal and expressive with things that I was feeling in those days & months & years after Gerad's death. I remember journaling afterwards but so many of those entries expressed my frustration with other things going on in my life rather than the grief I was feeling. However, thankfully, by the Grace of God, His Word and the friendships He's brought along the way... I believe He has brought healing to my heart. 

I remember once receiving a card which contained this verse...

2 Corinthians 1:4:

He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. 

When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.

Tonight when I went to post my comment on her blog this came out:

"I understand those moments of not wanting to hurt and yet hurting all over... moments of remembering the good things and then crying over those same memories. I understand the feeling of aloneness that hits in the middle of a crowd of people when you see a child about his age. The peace in knowing he's with Jesus but wanting him here in your arms instead. Grief is a hard process and sometimes it helps that you've been through it before and yet there are other times where it seems like a whole new experience because it's the same but different.

Fortunately... God is the same yesterday, today and forever and His Word is still as true as it was when it was first written 2,000 years ago. His Word says He will never fail you, He will never abandon you and he knows and understands your pain.

I remember the moment when God showed me that He understood my pain... because He lost a son once too...

I pray for a warm blanket of His love to envelope you tonight. I pray for His Grace & Sufficiency to meet you exactly where you need Him most. He holds you in the palm of His hand."

It's interesting... maybe God will use comments like that to continue healing my heart. It's interesting too because as I was writing that out again here I could see each of those moments... right down to the warm blanket. I remember that warm blanket like it was yesterday. 

God is so good isn't He?

It's been awhile...

Yes, it's true... it's been awhile since I've posted anything. I just couldn't... any time I tried it just seemed that whatever I had to say was so trivial in comparison to what Tammy is facing. Even now as I'm writing this I struggle with what to say and is it really important?

The road of loosing someone you love is always so hard and I know it's different for each person.... but the need is still the same. People walking on the road of LOSS need prayer, love and support... and lots of it. Truly though I believe the only thing that can get someone through loosing someone is simply the Grace of God. The Bible states that His Grace is sufficient and that He becomes stronger in our lives through our weaknesses (that's my paraphrase). I love how the Amplified version states it:

2 Corinthians 12:9:

But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness.

His Grace enables us to bear the deep pain of loss. His strength is shown most effectively in our lives when we are at our weakest point.

Lord, let your Grace and strength rest and dwell on Tammy and her family today in a very real and tangible way. Let Your Grace be so strong in her life. I know that You are all she truly needs. You are sufficient, you are more than adequate, you are more than enough for her every moment of her every day. Help her through this journey like I know only You can. Thank You that You continue to hold her in the palm of Your hand.

Bonnelle