I've been reading Joyce Meyer's book "Battlefield of the Mind". Excellent book by the way... I've been digesting it slowly and even going back through and reading sections again. This started as a result of a women's Bible Study group I am a part of but like God's timing usually is... it's perfect for where I am at.
I have been struggling with doing something I want to do but have not been released to do. I struggle because there is part of me that wants to jump out and run ahead and then there is the other part that knows I need to wait until the Lord makes it possible. I am referring to my dream to go to school full-time to become a Physical Therapist. I still believe that it is something I am supposed to do but at the same time, I haven't been released to leave my job and pursue this on a full-time basis. I have been asking God what HIS will is for me over the last several days and tonight I believe I heard the answer.
I grumble and complain a lot about my job and how hard it is to be there. I tend to complain that my job isn't really going anywhere and wouldn't it be more profitable to be doing something different? After all, isn't it better to use my gifts and talents in something like Physical Therapy rather then just sitting in my cube doing something that doesn't allow me to interact with others very much? Yes, I believe He does want to use me to bless others.... to touch their lives in a way that ministers to their hurts and their need for Jesus. What I have been seeing lately through the Word and the various books I am reading is.... it isn't so much "what" I do but "how" I do it. Do I do my job joyfully and as unto the Lord? Am I patient in the "waiting" process? Do I minister to those around me right now? Or am I just waiting for the "someday"? Do I watch and listen for opportunities to share Jesus NOW? This verse struck me tonight as I was reading:
..."But if you bear patiently with suffering [which results] when you do right and that is undeserved, it is acceptable and pleasing to God". 1 Peter 2:20
And then next came:
"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus" Philippians 2:5
Did Jesus complain about the hardness of the cross? NO. He went to the cross out of love for me. He patiently suffered in the midst of the injustice of it all. He didn't have to take my sin upon Himself. He didn't have to endure the pain and suffering of the cross... but He did... because He loves me.
What does this mean for me? I believe that one day I will be able to go to school full-time... I have a lot of classes to take care of before I am at that point... one step at a time is what He's saying to me. See, I would love to get them all done NOW and be able to get into the program this fall but... there are steps that must be taken first. There are all these little classes that I need to get out of the way first before I can even apply to the program I desire. If I rush ahead... I will surely miss something important. "Patience, my dear" is what I hear the Lord saying to me. I need to be patient... and through bearing patiently with this process... as I take on the same attitude that Christ had...I will be pleasing HIM.
What is His will for my life? To patiently take each step with HIM. To hold His hand and listen to His voice. To make cupcakes for a birthday tomorrow or to listen when someone is having a hard day. To walk through these next set of changes... trusting Him.
I know He has a plan and a purpose for my life. I know that each day there is a plan and a purpose. My part is to trust Him and to wait patiently for His timing.