new beginnings....

WOW... what a day!

As I sit here on my floor with gifts from my friends all around me... I reflect on the day that it has been. I have good friends where I work... people that I love and care about. People that have come out of the wood-work over the last month to tell me they appreciate me. It has really been amazing! You know... you don't think you make much of an impact but then... suddenly you realize that maybe you made more of an impact then you realize. My daughter has had a similar experience in her returning to school. People that she had class with but wasn't really friends with... have greeted her so warmly... and it's amazed her. Course, any of you that read this that know her know... she's pretty amazing! =)

What I have learned over the course of this week, especially in building up to this meeting that I had today with one of the directors of the company is that people are important and need to feel important... like they matter. People do matter... I think that is part of why I want to go into Physical Therapy. Just to be able to have one on one moments with people. To speak into their lives. To touch them with the touch of Jesus and to love them like He loves them. I know I was doing that where I was... but I want to do it even more so. This week has been amazing. I have talked to more people this week then I have ever talked to at one time before. I had the freedom to just stop and talk and it was so neat! And I shared tears today as I said good-bye to several of those people. If I didn't know without a doubt that leaving is what God wants me to do... I probably would have backed out. But there really is no doubt in my mind. And that's awesome! =)

My challenge to you is... take some time today to bless someone's life. Tell them how much they mean to you. Tell them they do a great job. Tell them they... matter. Tell them that you care. It really does make a difference in their lives and you blessing them... ends up blessing you!

That's all for now!!

standing before kings....

So... today I received an interesting invite. It came to my inbox at work. It took me by surprise to begin with because this was not your typical invite to a typical meeting. You see, this particular invite was to meet with someone very important in our company. I knew almost immediately that not everyone gets this kind of invitation when leaving the company. I went and talked to one of my managers who then confirmed that I was only the second person she knew of to receive such an invitation. Upon clicking the "Accept" button, I began to pray for wisdom and the words to say. I am... in a sense... being summoned... to come before a "king". At first I was nervous and yes, even a little afraid, but then I heard the Lord tell me not to be afraid and that He would go with me. This is an opportunity that has been ordained by Him. This is an opportunity to go and speak.... to be the voice of my fellow associates. This is a significant meeting... not just because of who this person is and the position that he holds... but it feels as though there is more to it. God orders our steps... even into important meetings. I meet with this person Thursday morning. Please pray that God will speak through me and give me the right words to say.

verses that speak...

I love it when I'm reading my Bible in the morning and verses jump out at me and I hear God speaking to my heart through them... It's so awesome because it proves to me on a real life basis that His Word is living and active. There are times, yes, where it cuts me deep and points out where I have been wrong. There are also times where the Lord just sends me gentle words of encouragement such as the story of Ezra - "the gracious hand of his God was upon him" - this is stated in chapter 7 & 8 of Ezra several times. We all know that when God says something more then once we're supposed to listen because it's important. In verses 9 & 10 of chapter 7 it says, "the gracious hand of his God was on him. This was because Ezra had determined to study and obey the Law of the Lord and to teach those decrees and regulations to the people of Israel."

The gracious hand of the Lord his God was upon Ezra because he chose to study and obey the Word of God and he determined in his heart to share the Word of the Lord with the people of Israel.

I felt the Lord reminding me this morning of the verse that started this blog last year. That He has Chosen me as His very own possession and as a result I can share with others about His goodness. He encouraged me to blog about a journey He has me on and about how He is opening doors for me to walk through that... amaze me on a daily basis!

I am not really sure how to go about sharing everything of the last few months but a glimpse into the journey is the amazing goodness of God. Eight months ago God planted a seed in my heart. It was a calling to lay down the security I know in my current job, to lay down the fears I have always had about math and science. He began by taking me through a couple of math classes to gradually build my confidence. He used those classes to show me that He will give me wisdom and understanding about things... I have no understanding of! The last test I took a couple of weeks ago will forever stand as a reminder to me of GOD being the one behind this whole thing! I went into a test totally and completely relying on HIM. I didn't understand the section we were on but I needed to pass the test in order to be done with the class. I prayed before, during and after the test and.... HE helped me pass! I was so..... amazed! I walked out to the truck knowing that God was on this and that He was helping me take each step. I knew that HE was going to be the one to get me through the necessary courses and that in the end... when I walk across the stage to get my diploma it will be for HIS glory.... so that everyone will know... that HE brought me through this great victory!

One morning about a month ago I was reading my Bible outside and praying about school and work and going to school full-time. I wasn't sure how it would be possible for me to quit my job but I knew that taking one class a quarter was going to take me FOREVER to get through them all! I came in and counted up that if I were to start taking two classes a quarter then I could be through the pre-requisites in a year and be onto the next step next fall! I presented this to my husband but neither one of us knew how I could continue to work full-time and take two classes. It would be too much. We began praying and figuring together and finally... he gave me his blessing to quit my job and focus on school. I am still amazed! This was a major turn around from just a few months ago!! God had moved the mountains that were in front of me and suddenly... I could see a brand new day dawning!!

The doors that opened from that moment on were doors that only God could open.

First, my husband needed to be in agreement and we had reached that door and walked through it.

Second, I began praying about one friend in particular at work. She is very dear to my heart and I knew she would take my leaving very hard. I prayed that God would prepare her for the news and that He would help me tell her at just the right moment.

Third, was telling my managers and people at work that I have known for a lot of years.

The day I told my friend at work... God provided the perfect moment. He gave her a dream one night that our former manager came to her to find out how much I make. He looked at the amount and said, "I can top that. I'm taking her." She was stunned and didn't understand what it meant. I told her that maybe it was preparation and explained that I was going to be giving my notice. I told her that God had given her that dream. She denied it but I knew... only God could have given her a dream like that! We talked about it for quite awhile and I could see it was hard but our talk went better then I had hoped.

Next came telling my manager. I had thought I would do it Friday afternoon before I left to go on my "vacation". God had other plans.... He set up a perfect opportunity in the middle of the week and there wasn't any way I could put off telling him any longer. Once I told him... there was no turning back. What was so cool about the whole thing was I was going to put in an application and my daughter told me I would need to know my class schedule before I could put down the hours I was available (spoken like a true college student!). I registered for classes and got that set up, then told my boss I was quitting. He tried to get me to extend out my last day. For a brief moment I contemplated working on a part-time basis. I went outside to talk it through with my husband and in the course of our conversation... I knew staying was not what God wanted for me. It was so awesome! If I wouldn't have already registered for classes, it would have been so easy to have stayed "just a little bit longer". God had me register so I couldn't change my mind in any way! It was so cool!

Finally, when I registered for one of my classes I was on a wait-list because it had filled. I was going to change it to a different class but didn't have the chance to. Today, when I went to the school to look at the books I will need I printed off my schedule... and I'm no longer on the wait-list! It shows me as registered! This is both cool and a little bit scary for me because... it's a Chemistry class!! I was walking on the campus and praying about this new development and suddenly... I was filled with peace. I know that God has helped me pass so far.... He won't let me down now! This is HIS dream for me that He has placed on my heart and I KNOW He will bring it to completion!

My last day is next Friday. While I am a little sad to be leaving those friendships that I have made over the last nine years I am even more excited to be laying down my staff of security to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit.... and going on a Wild Goose Chase with HIM!

In going back to the verses I mentioned at the beginning of this post... I feel like God was saying to me this morning that His hand is upon me and He will lead me each step of the way and He will provide for whatever I may need. I believe too that as I'm in the process, He wants me to study and obey His Word and to tell others along the way. As I study these courses, as He gives me the wisdom that I need, I need to share with those people around me what God is saying to me and that HE is the one bringing about victory every step of the way! As I do this, as I acknowledge HIM, His gracious hand will be upon me and it will be evident to everyone around me!

Welcome to my journey... I am so excited to be stepping into HIS New Day for my life. I will keep you posted on the progress! =)

back again...

Hello, to anyone who still randomly checks this little blog out... Yes, it's true, I have been gone an awfully long time. You see, my daughter has been home over the summer (and it's been SO wonderful!). She was taking an online class and needed to use my laptop. She was able to buy herself a new laptop so now she's finishing up the class on her own lovely computer.

So much has happened over the summer that I almost don't know where to begin. God has been showing me some amazing things and is directing my paths in incredible ways. I have seen the beauty of the sunrise on several occasions as I was out walking in the early morning hours. Last Friday I took a walk around the lake and felt His smile as He spoke words of love, comfort and encouragement to me. I am so amazed at how truly wonderful He is.

One morning God spoke to me through this portion of scripture found in 2 Chronicles 32:

"Be strong and courageous! Don't be afraid or discouraged because of the king of Assyria or his mighty army, for there is a power far greater on our side! He may have a great army, but they are merely men. We have the Lord our God to help us and to fight our battles for us!"

The kind of Assyria had been very successful in battle and had come to attack Jerusalem. He was taunting the people and was spouting off about how King Hezekiah was lying to them when he told them that God was going to rescue all of Jerusalem from his army. "Surely Hezekiah is misleading you, sentencing you to death by famine and thirst!" The king of Assyria was pretty confident that his army would defeat God's people. "What makes you think your God can rescue you from me?". The kind of Assyria didn't realize Who he was coming up against and he and his men continued to mock God and His servant Hezekiah.

"Then King Hezekiah and the prophet Isaiah son of Amoz cried out in prayer to God in Heaven. And the Lord sent an angel who destroyed the Assyrian army with all its commanders and officers. So (king) Sennacherib was forced to return home in disgrace to his own land. And when he entered the temple of his god, some of his own sons killed him there with a sword. That is how the Lord rescued Hezekiah and the people of Jerusalem from King Sennachaerib of Assyria and from all the others who threatened them."

What spoke to me about this passage was that so many times when we are moving forward in the things of God, the enemy comes along and spouts off lies and tries to make us think that we'll die if we follow the path of God or that He won't rescue us from whatever trial we may be in. He tries to get us to believe that we are all alone or that "thing" we're going through is impossible to get out of.

However, if we cry out to God in prayer He will send angels to destroy the enemy and all of his tactics and will continue to reign victorious in our lives! If we cry out to Him and focus our eyes on Him, the enemy is forced to go back to the pit where he belongs and WILL leave us alone. What we need to remember is that GOD is on our side! He fights all our battles for us and HE alone.... IS VICTORIOUS.... ALWAYS!

What an amazing thing to grab hold of... with God on our side there really isn't anything that can hold us back or that we can't do. With God on our side we CAN do all things!! Isn't that awesome! What are you afraid of? What's holding you back? What lies do you believe? What things do you find yourself saying, "I can't do that!" to?? With God ALL things ARE possible! How cool is that????

Stay tuned dear friends... there is more to come!

profound quote...

This quote was brought to my attention today and it just seemed like something that needed to be shared...

"Growth demands a temporary surrender of  security" 

- Gail Sheehy

"On face value, this looks like a simple statement. Yet, is it the key to why so many of us refuse to embrace growth?

Are we not willing to surrender the rewards provided by our doing too much in terms of security?

Even when that surrender is temporary?

What are the roadblocks we put up against our own growth?

What fears do we use to scare ourselves?"

I believe we all have things that stand in front of us, like roadblocks, that prevent us from moving forward into that next step and into all God has for us. I believe too many times we see those roadblocks, those mountains, as insurmountable and impassable. However, Jesus says in His Word, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it would move. Nothing would be impossible." (Matthew 17:20)

Did you catch that? NOTHING would be impossible. As I sit here tonight I wonder... am I letting mountains stand in my way? Am I letting fears scare me into staying in the "secure" zone? What are the mountains that stand in your way? What things are you afraid of? What areas are you comfortable in where you feel God is wanting you to step out and experience something new and unknown?

I'm reminded of a story I heard recently... forgive me if you're the story-teller and I don't say it quite right. There was a young girl (or maybe it was a young woman) who was in a hospital room. Out her window all she could see was a big mountain. She knew on the other side of the mountain was a beautiful ocean. Every day she asked God to move the mountain so she could just see the ocean.... and she didn't stop asking. After some time had passed she began to notice earth movers by the mountain and they were digging to build something (if I remember right) and in the end... God moved the mountain and she could see the ocean. Even though I may not have stated it completely or correctly... I think it points out that God hears and answers our prayers... even when they may seem as impossible as moving mountains.

Lord, show us what hinders us from moving forward. Show us the mountains and fears that stand in our way and keep us from what You desire for us. Show us and may we begin to say to that mountain.... MOVE! Fears be gone in the Name of Jesus! Mountains MOVE in the name of Jesus! Show us the beauty of what lies just beyond the mountains and may we believe that they CAN be moved!

attitude is everything...

It's always wonderful when we get warm fuzzy's when we hear from God but what about the times when He's gentle voice... brings conviction? 

I've been reading Joyce Meyer's book "Battlefield of the Mind". Excellent book by the way... I've been digesting it slowly and even going back through and reading sections again. This started as a result of a women's Bible Study group I am a part of but like God's timing usually is... it's perfect for where I am at.

I have been struggling with doing something I want to do but have not been released to do. I struggle because there is part of me that wants to jump out and run ahead and then there is the other part that knows I need to wait until the Lord makes it possible. I am referring to my dream to go to school full-time to become a Physical Therapist. I still believe that it is something I am supposed to do but at the same time, I haven't been released to leave my job and pursue this on a full-time basis. I have been asking God what HIS will is for me over the last several days and tonight I believe I heard the answer. 

I grumble and complain a lot about my job and how hard it is to be there. I tend to complain that my job isn't really going anywhere and wouldn't it be more profitable to be doing something different? After all, isn't it better to use my gifts and talents in something like Physical Therapy rather then just sitting in my cube doing something that doesn't allow me to interact with others very much? Yes, I believe He does want to use me to bless others.... to touch their lives in a way that ministers to their hurts and their need for Jesus. What I have been seeing lately through the Word and the various books I am reading is.... it isn't so much "what" I do but "how" I do it. Do I do my job joyfully and as unto the Lord? Am I patient in the "waiting" process? Do I minister to those around me right now? Or am I just waiting for the "someday"? Do I watch and listen for opportunities to share Jesus NOW? This verse struck me tonight as I was reading:

..."But if you bear patiently with suffering [which results] when you do right and that is undeserved, it is acceptable and pleasing to God". 1 Peter 2:20

And then next came:

"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus" Philippians 2:5

Did Jesus complain about the hardness of the cross? NO. He went to the cross out of love for me. He patiently suffered in the midst of the injustice of it all. He didn't have to take my sin upon Himself. He didn't have to endure the pain and suffering of the cross... but He did... because He loves me. 

What does this mean for me? I believe that one day I will be able to go to school full-time... I have a lot of classes to take care of before I am at that point... one step at a time is what He's saying to me. See, I would love to get them all done NOW and be able to get into the program this fall but... there are steps that must be taken first. There are all these little classes that I need to get out of the way first before I can even apply to the program I desire. If I rush ahead... I will surely miss something important. "Patience, my dear" is what I hear the Lord saying to me. I need to be patient... and through bearing patiently with this process... as I take on the same attitude that Christ had...I will be pleasing HIM. 

What is His will for my life? To patiently take each step with HIM. To hold His hand and listen to His voice. To make cupcakes for a birthday tomorrow or to listen when someone is having a hard day. To walk through these next set of changes... trusting Him. 

I know He has a plan and a purpose for my life. I know that each day there is a plan and a purpose. My part is to trust Him and to wait patiently for His timing.

Patiently trusting....

His grace & love...

I should go for a walk or clean up the laundry room for the repairman that's coming tomorrow but first... I feel I need to share some things that God has been showing me lately. I have hesitated to post anything just because I have really been seeking to hear GOD's voice. Tonight, though, as I was waiting for my husband to pick me up after my class I felt that I should sharing and that it was time for the "word of my testimony" to be spoken. 

Probably one of the biggest things has been a simple little verse I read one morning just a few days ago...

You go before me and follow me.

You place your hand of blessing on my head.

Psalm 139:4

I remember pausing at this verse that morning, struck by what those words we saying. He goes before me and He follows me, I have read that before and could feel once again, His presence in that simple statement. What seemed the most powerful to me though was the next sentence, "You place your hand of blessing on my head". In that moment, as I closed my eyes to soak in the words and the meaning, I felt His Hand settle gently on my head. I recalled the stories of where the father's would bless their sons or grandsons in the Old Testament and the power that was behind those blessings. Words that were spoken prophetically over their lives and the lives of their descendants. In that moment I felt the Lord uttering blessings over my life, for that day, for that moment but also for my future days and moments. I knew... I could tell that this wasn't just a one time deal... He goes before me and follows me on a daily basis and daily He places His hand of blessing upon my head. Each day before I leave the house for work He places His hand of blessing on my head. It was amazing to me.

As I sat there and pondered on these things I took a moment to go back again to the first verse of this Psalm and I could hear the Lord saying these things to me as a blessing:

"Bonnelle, I have examined every part of your heart. I know everything about you. Every detail and every thought. I know when you sit down and when you stand up. I know your thoughts even when they drift off to far away places. I know and I see you when you travel whether it be to work or to the store. I know when you're resting at home... I love to watch you sleep and I especially love it when you nestle in and rest in My arms. I know everything you do and I know the words you are going to say even before you speak them. Bonnelle, I go before you. Each step you take, I am with you. I go before you and I follow you. I hem you in with my love and protection. And each day... I am blessing you. I bless you with My love and My favor. I bless you and speak words of promise in your ear. Yes dear, I do have a plan and a purpose for your life. Yes, I have great plans and you are following in the path I want you to take. Hold onto My hand and I will lead you and guide you and show you the next step. Follow my lead, wait for my timing and you will see... everything I have promised, will come to be.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, it's too great for me to fully understand and comprehend! 

God is so good... He is just so kind to me. I am so thankful that He's patient and always so faithful. He truly is amazing to me.